disco UNICORN

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 21:33:12 GMT

hey
not much has changed, haha. maintaining. I've been trying the library diet becasue I've been lazy with my schoolwork lately which is bad. Today I've had 1 frozen dinner (200calories - my favorite banquet turkey dinner yum) and black coffee. The library makes me feel so productive I get tons of homework done and I love it.
I'm also going to print out lots of pictures of inspirational things to hang around my desk in my room. Nothing hardcore bones or anything, just some girls that are thin and have nice outfits and makeup and hair to motivate me to get prettied up everyday. remind me what I'm working for.

i don't mean to spam or anything, but i've been OBSESSED with neopets lately, haha, and its really fun for games and stuff, so if anyone is bored out of their minds and wants to play neopets you should sign up here neopets its really fun and complex if you really get into it. but its fun for just games too. (if you need help with getting started PinkPT is a good help site. I doooo get special points for getting people to sign up so if anyone does it I would be super super super happy and my neopets will be happy too. haha. alright. take care!

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 01:34:33 GMT

i need to be strict again. i need to get perfect grades. i have to feel EMPTY JHGDJHGJm. there is no way i can get this disgusting fat flesh off my body unless i am fucking strict. I KNOW what low calorie and restriction is and what is healthy and what is unhealthy. i eat fucking salad, and broths, and LOW QUANTITES of anything carby, I dont eat cheese or meat and IM STILL THE SAME GODDAMN WEIGHT IVE BEEN FOR YEARS. MY METABOLISM IS FUCKED THE FUCKED UP AND I NEED TO STOP EATING EVEYRTHNG until i fucking pass out and die cuz i hate being so fucking goddamn disgusting and huge. I count and limit calories SO MUCH, i watch other people put REAL dressing on their lettuce. Put croutons on. I watch people eating sandwiches and pasta and cheeseburgers and french fries, i goddamn fucking dont eat that shit on purpose and im still fucking DISGUSTING. GODDAMMIT TALL TO FUCKING HELL.

Sun, 29 Oct 2006 17:30:32 GMT

so yesterday at the halloween party some girl asked if i was "brooke hogan" for halloween.
i hate everything. i've never been so insulted. that bitch is HUGE. fucking huge. goddamn. do i really look like brooke hogan??

Sat, 28 Oct 2006 00:12:25 GMT

alright writing it down so i "don't forget" haha.
healthy choice salmon meal - 250 cals
vitamin water - 125 cals (didnt finsih it yet but ill drink the rest later)
pink peanut m&ms - 14 of them, will check calories later. I'm thinking 160. or 250 to be safe?

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 23:01:44 GMT

went to the gym today.
didn't eat yet. and its 7pm!

i got 11 frozen dinners. all banquet. all turkey dinners. all 200 calories each.
HOT.
soup for lunch (300 cal max, all vegetable soups), frozen dinner for dinner. gym everyday.
we'll see what happens.

Fri, 27 Oct 2006 02:49:47 GMT

starting a gym regime with my roommate tommorow.
grocery shopping tomorrow. will give an update on that.

i got the best midterm/progress report grades i've had in like 8 years.
b+ b+ b+ b+ a-
hot.

Wed, 25 Oct 2006 19:12:39 GMT

today is good.
midterm grades are posted tomorrow.
i really hope i did good.
ill post pictures of my halloween costume this weekend.
totally.

Sun, 15 Oct 2006 18:11:52 GMT

went to dinner friday and saturday
thought i would die
didnt realize my stomach had shrunk.
didn't realize how purging everyday for 10 days would effect my body either.
ugh.

today = soup 120
coconut popsicle 120

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 18:14:23 GMT

toast 150
soup 240
brocolli 50
cookie (230) purged

roughly 600
and its only 2pm god

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 13:12:36 GMT

Weight has been fluctating like 6 pounds a day. It's fucking ridiculous.

Wed, 11 Oct 2006 02:09:05 GMT

And I see no bravery,
No bravery in your eyes anymore.
Only sadness.

Sun, 08 Oct 2006 22:21:08 GMT

down 9 pounds from BAD heavy summer weight.

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 21:44:31 GMT

"Avoidance: The hyperarousal and the intrusive symptoms are eventually so distressing that the individual strives to avoid contact with everything, and everyone, even to their own thoughts, that can arouse memories of the trauma and thus cause the intrusive and hyperarousal states to go on. The sufferer isolates themselves, becoming detached in their feelings with a restricted range of emotional response, and can experience so-called emotional detachment ("numbing"). This avoidance behavior is the third and most important part of the symptom triad that makes up the PTSD criteria."

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 21:39:19 GMT

25 - 1 roll of smarties
black coffee

Thu, 05 Oct 2006 03:30:47 GMT

300 soup (purged some)
300 latte. bites of brownie.